Curious Thinker Psychology

Child development psychologist John Bowlby once defined attachment as “a lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.”

Attachment Theory

Attachment is a very unique and special emotional bond that plays a very critical role in our lives. It affects the way we view the world and how we interact with our friends, family members and fellow humans. Early experiences in childhood can affect a person’s attachment style, which has a strong influence on their development and behavior throughout life.

There are four distinct characteristics of attachment:

• Proximity Maintenance – The desire to be close with whom we’re attached to
• Safe Haven – Seeking comfort and safety when distressed or frightened
• Secure Base – A person acting as a secure base so that a child may feel free to venture and explore more freely
• Separation Distress – Anxiety invoked during the absence of an attachment figure

Therefore, it is important for a child’s parents (the “attachment figure“) to be reliable, accessible and attentive. When a child is cared for in this way, it feels safe, secure, loved and more confident in exploring and adventuring within the environment. Sometimes, however, a child will not develop a secure attachment. This could be caused by various, numerous factors, some of which may include abuse or neglect.

Attachment Style

This leads us to explaining the various attachment styles. In the 1970s, psychologist Mary Ainsworth augmented John Bowlby’s work with her own research. In her “Strange Situation” experiment, researchers observed the reactions of 12-18 month old children. Ainsworth characterized their reactions into three categories. Two researchers, Main and Solomon, later added a fourth style.

• Secure Attachment
  • Anxious when separated, but assured caregiver will return; happy when they do finally return
  • Comfortable seeking reassurance and comfort from parent/caregiver when frightened or stressed
  • Tend to have long-term, trusting relationships as adults
• Ambivalent Attachment
  • Become extremely distressed when parent leaves, but not comforted by their return
  • Tend to feel uncomfortable getting close to others, and concerned their partner does not reciprocate feelings
• Avoidant Attachment
  • Tend to avoid interaction with, or does not seek the comfort of, the parent
  • Prefers neither stranger nor parental interaction
• Disorganized-insecure Attachment
  • Exhibit a mixture of attachment behaviors
  • May seem dazed, confused or apprehensive when around the parent/caregiver

As adults, those with a secure attachment tend to think of love as enduring. Ambivalent styles tend to fall in love more frequently, while those with an avoidant attachment style consider love as rare and temporary.

However, while attachment styles during childhood may play a role, it is not necessarily an indicator of an adult’s romantic-attachment style. It is important to consider that much time has passed between infancy and adulthood, and events experienced during these developmental years could also play a role in an adult.

With this new understanding of attachment, give us your thoughts below! Do you have children? A romantic relationship? What attachment style do you consider yourself, your partner, or your child to possess?