The Triangular Theory of Love is a model of love developed by American psychologist Robert Sternberg. He proposes that there are three components of love within interpersonal relationships: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment.
We’re going to take a look at each of these components.
Intimacy
Intimacy is that special bond with another person. Sharing a feeling of closeness, openness and compassion for each other. This is usually referred to as Liking someone, and when not paired with the other two components is most commonly seen in long-time friendships, for example.
The next kind of love involving intimacy is described as Companionate Love, marked by Intimacy and Commitment. In friendships, you can easily see this in best friends – an extremely loyal friendship; in a loving or romantic relationship, this can be seen in an old couple who have lost their drive for passion, but are still affectionate with and committed to each other.
Passion
Passion refers to physical and sexual attraction, and by itself is considered Infatuation. Infatuation is when you desire someone for their physical characteristics and perhaps you think you like them but you’re only attracted to the surface and not what lies beneath.
The second type of love is Romantic Love which involves both passion and intimacy. It is perhaps second to Infatuation, as a certain degree of intimacy is involved, but no commitment is ever made.
Another type of love is Fatuous Love, one based on Passion and Commitment but lacking in Intimacy. This is also fairly common and can be seen in whirlwind marriages fueled by passionate desire all done without an intimate understanding of each other.
Commitment
Commitment refers to, in the short-term, choosing to love someone; in the long-term, it means making an active cognitive decision to maintain that love. The decision making process is involved in this component, and thus a sense of rationality and cognitive thought is added.
In some relationships, Intimacy and Passion has dwindled down nearly to a state of nonexistence – or perhaps it never was. This is referred to as Empty Love, and it is marked solely by commitment without the other components.
Finally, in other relationships, all three of these components exist together in perfect harmony. Intimacy, Passion and Commitment all come together to form Consummate Love. Some synonyms of consummate are ultimate, absolute, flawless, gifted, ideal, or impeccable. This is considered the greatest and best form of a love relationship, to which many aspire but seemingly few achieve.
What do you think? Have you ever experienced any of these types of love before? Let us know in the comments!
